My Life

RE-ORDERING MY LIFE.

BOUNCE BACK, JUMP HIGHER ENRICO … 

SHOW THEM ALL …

U CAN DO THAT BEFORE , SO IT WONT BE SO DIFFICULT THIS TIME .

After Padang case solved, or at least it had shown some remarkable progress.

i am sure about myself: 

1. a good negotiator 

2. been given so much bless 

3. dont crack under pressure , stumble upon my feet several times , and get back immediately .. its getting better each in every day .. 

When i was in the plane head back to jakarta, meet a remarkable person, who taught me about the life education ( with a very humble way)  , and … 

WAW ! THANKS !, looking back and i am gettin better. somehow, this things happened lately , bounce me higher than before.

if i keep my :

1. good willing

2. sincere

3. (not mentioning about the Almighty yaK) 

then … I WILL THAT SUCCESS, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT …

NOW, …. I CAN FACE ALMOST EVERYTHING …. i got my courage and confident back at once.

Padang sept 23 2008

i’ve always believe in dreams .. and now i do need a miracle

Dear Me’y,

in several hours, i am leaving to Padang. there is something left unfinished, lots of people putting their hope on my shoulder, concerning 23 working people are about to be dismissed. 

a big responsibility … 

i have to switch my brain in order to stay focused. 

I wish you well, happy when i am gone. Your laugh, smile , loving attention , showing so much love to me , and  i’d never doubt it.

The faith, it is all your decision now as i am building mine , stronger than before, i can not touch you in the moment like this  .. so help me God. 

a better future soon will be exposed , right after we are able to overcome this. 

GBU in all you do, and i believe you had.

the hardest,  the toughest, and it will last forever … 

We can make thru this … bless us.

when the nite reach the dawn, 

i performed something that i’ve never asked before …

both of my beloved, put their hands upon my head … and  send a prayer so their son will finally meet his true one, and cast away any past sin that i’ve made. 

i am blessed now. 

- rico -

Dear Me’y, 

a text just arrived , u need to have an early sleep 2nite 

i wont bother you with the midnite call i usually take

am praying rite now

“Lord, i can not disturb her 2nite, mind to watch her out for me? give her a dream that she’d never had”. Bless us, give us the love you want us to have”. 

gud nite, My love.

= Faithful = 

something left unspoken 

when fear was coming, and the doubt arise 

u can not see the truth till it was coming 

now, when all the flowers bloom

some broke into pieces 

still, i am standing on my ground … 

romance felt not so burn ,

patience to wait for it to glow strong

still i am standing on my ground 

it was all because of you.

and then she said …

” i wanna be with Enrico … ”

THE 14 LETTERS … something that should be remembered, when things went so bad.

Dear Me’ y,

0:34

This could be the last of all things i wrote for you. The fact that both of us had destined to meet must means something, after thru all years, separately, experienced many things, and yet the purpose of looking for the true love (soulmate) remains.

Are we destine to be 2gether ?

Am i your Hero ?

Can i give you something that i dont have ?

Guess, i just have to leave it to the Almighty …

MUCH OBLIGE , MY LORD.

Dear Me’ y,

3:20

i almost forgot the line :

LOVE IS NOT A FIGHT , IT IS SOMETHING WORTH FIGHTING FOR

so the question is :

CAN I GIVE YOU SOMETHING THAT I DONT HAVE ?

what would it be …

1. patience , anger management ?

2. trust ?

3. soft care and control (not excessive) ?

4. cool, calm and relax ?

23:18

my heart beating so fast , whats goin on … Lord, hear me … teach me , give me Your enlightment, i submit myself to You

Dear Me’y,

18:28

alone, while i am still at the Gandul warehouse office, it was dark outside …

I have been thinking again …

1. you;re the type of person that has to be carefully managed, dont squeeze too hard, and dont be too loose , hmm .. inline to what u said “u push, i will break free” –> i hate this words .., in my perspective, this kind of type wont make me comfort …

advisor says: it is your ego and your heart emotionally involved .. use your brain , the power of mind, we were good at it … so why it seems to be impossible now ?

2. You never put any action 1st to give much care about me

advisor says: she has her own way to sate “love” and try to put it on the right time

3. She still trying to raise my jealousy and anger –> i dont think that all of her efforts are necessary. I DO love her , i am trying to make her comfort , and gaining her trust on me , i thought it would be enuf. She keep on trying to build that she is worth to fight for ….

i say : ” SHE IS WORTH IT … so ? is that all necessary ?” childish i say.

advisor says: she is the girl and you are the man … be patience .. and you will get ur turn

4. Hah ….  playing hard to get … aren’t we too old for this ?

i say: she just want to be herself , all the way, without put any thought whether i like it or not, i am afraid that this act of pretending will soon end eventually.

advisor says:several evidences collected, she was trying to make you comfort , isnt that enuf ? you ask too much

i say :  AM I ? ( all of the sudden, I felt so quilty)

Do I still have the EGO ? even bigger than i thought ?

Dear Me’y,

23:44

What i like you the most :

1. You just gave me your cynical face each time i showed my outrage , that would be enuf … i will just STOP !!!

2. I like you that much when i know that you are clean freak

3. When i am down, i like when you cheer me up

4. I never tired looking at your face, even when u were angry

5. I like the way you look thru me, and only to me

6. I like when you wait for me at the Airport, i felt honored, kinda romantic when i looked for you in the crowd

7. I like when we constantly went to the church 2gether , holding hands ( something that i’ve been dreaming of), eghh actually, i am the one who hold ur hands …

I pushed you that far … hon .. if only i could turn .. ( i cant ask for more … Lord , defenceless is all i am now … )

i realized, this is all good for me , it would affect me today and days to come ..

I WILL BECOME A BETTER MAN.

I WILL BECOME  A MAN WHO CAN TRANSFORM THE HEART INTO RATIONAL THINKING.

Dear Me’ y,

17:59

Your emotional needs were not met when you were growing up and there was nothing you could do about it. Even today, you tend not to express anger or pain or resentment except when you are in an infrequent rage. This is a problem in close relationships.
However cool or cynical you may appear to be externally, you are extraordinarily sensitive and romantic. You are gentle and artistic and would rather do without a relationship than be part of one which does not measure up to your highest ideals of love.

The distinct differences in your temperaments inclines you to periods of personality clashes and misunderstandings. In particular, enrico batubara often feels that merry pane does not sympathize enough or try to really understand enrico batubara’s feelings. Both of you will have to understand and respect your differences, and make a concerted effort to harmonize your very different temperaments.

hon, i can only prevent it for resulting more damages … if only you could take  the risks for understanding each other … i’d love to spend those things u’ve been saying with you …